Reinforcements have arrived

Before Calvin arrived, I remember telling my wife how lucky she was being able to stay home for 12 weeks and lounge around all day. She laughed and asked me how much free time did I really think she would have. In all honesty, I thought it would be a lot.

News flash. Infants are a lot of work. I had my first horrible peeing accident today. While changing a diaper, I thought had his lu-lu thoroughly covered. I looked away for a split second and the Fountain of Calvin had erupted. This warm pee bath must have triggered another reflex because the poop started flowing. He looked like a tube of toothpaste being squeezed.

Today my sister, a mother of two small children, flew in to see the baby and offer some support. Tomorrow I go back to work. Ha! Work. Try caring for a week old child for a couple of days. Now that is work.

His first game

Hey Calvin - What did you think of your first Patriots game Sunday night?




Yeah. Me too. They stunk.

Home Sweet Home

We are finally home from the hospital. Last night I got two hours sleep. Which is good. That is about an hour more than the previous few nights. I think I have stopped seeing hallucinations but the blurred double vision is still there. When does this get easier??

Trac is feeling better. Still in plenty of discomfort but she is up and moving around. Walking on what used to be her ankles, but have since swelled to what looks like minature tree trunks.

For those who haven't been able to visit him yet, here are a couple more pics.

Say Hello To My Little Friend!

Once again, I give you Calvin Thomas Medwid.

Finally!

After 40 weeks of preparation and torture, I am proud to relay that we have a new member of our family.

Mr. Calvin Thomas Medwid! (We also accept Cal or C.T. for you Real World lovers)
He was born at about 10pm, weighing 7 pounds and 8 ounces and measuring 19 1/2 inches.
We pushed for two solid hours. Tracy gave it a Herculean (sp?, it's late) effort but little Calvin refused to come out so the doc went in and got him C-Section style.
Mommy is resting comfortably. She just had her first bonding session with Cal.

I haven't eaten in nearly 24 hours and there is a good chance I won't even make it back to my hospital bed, probably collasping in the hallway somewhere.

Pictures and a final word coming soon. :-)

Quick update

We are checked in. Doc already started the Petocin (sp?).
Our nurse, a lovely lady from England, estimates time of arrival between 5pm and 7pm. Trac still hopes it will be more like lunchtime.
Water will be brokoen around noonish.
All systems go...

THIS IS NOT A TEST!

I repeat. This is not a test.

The President has raised the baby alert level to code Purple, which stands for “scared shitless.” Sound the alarm…AaaahWooogaaah!

Time to boil water or boil peanuts. Boil something. This is what we have been training for. Remember your breathing techniques. Hee hee…Hoo hoo. Or is it Hoo hah…Hoo hah?! Christ, I can’t remember.

Let’s run some red lights. We are on our way to the hospital. (Ok, there is no need to rush. We have a scheduled check-in time for 8am, but dammit I want to run at least one red light!)

We will bring you live team coverage as events unfold. There is a computer room downstairs in the hospital. I will have Tracy occasionally hold off on pushing so I can provide updates.

Until then, this is the soon-to-be daddy signing off.

4 DAYS LEFT!

Today started with another unexpected visit to the doctor’s office. For the first time since we became pregnant, I decided not to go in with Trac to the see the doctor. Instead, I opted to sit outside and read my book.

While reading, I observed a young couple, apparently early in their stages of pregnancy. She looked nauseous. He looked indifferent, blabbing away on his cell phone. Shortly after, I noticed she was sitting on the ground, cupping both her forehead and stomach. Ah, memories of the first trimester. How sweet it was. I continued reading only to be interrupted by cell phone guy barking at his wife/girlfriend;

“Get Up! Will you just get up! You are sitting in your own puke. That’s disgusting.”

Yep, she was. And he’s going to make a fine dad some day. Anyway, they worked out their issue and I attempted to keep reading, secretly hoping in some small way that Tracy would emerge from the office with our child in hand. “The doctor said it was ready so she just yanked it out”, she would say as she hands me little D’Brickashaw.

Alas, nothing of the sort happened. We are still on target for a Thursday inducing (or would it be induction?) though we could go earlier because, as the doc put it, Tracy is a ticking time bomb waiting to go off.

We got lots of helpful hints for ways to kick-start the birthing process.

 Do lots of walking – “lots” is a relative term when you can only walk .03 miles per hour. We left our house at lunchtime and reached the end of our driveway by dusk. (meaning we were walking very slowly, not that we have a really really long driveway)
 Spicy foods & castor oil – seems like urban legends but we tried neither so I cannot confirm nor deny the effects.
 Adult relations – um, I never thought I’d say this but, I pass.
 Clean the kitchen floor on hands and knees – Now this one seems practical. You help speed up labor and you get a cleansed floor. Of course, if your water does break, so much for the clean floor. This method, as with the spicy food, was not tested.
 Rubbing the breasts – I rubbed mine all day Saturday and nothing happened.

And so, the wait continues.

Always Use Protection

Here is an item every new father should own. It is a Daddy Bib.

For those men who cringe at the thought of being coated by drool and spit-up, this bib combines all the protection of those sissy burp-cloths, with the sleek stylish look of shoulder pads.

You can wear this bib around the house all day, and it just looks like you are getting ready to go play football with the guys.

(Hat and sunglasses sold separately)

6 DAYS LEFT!

One good thing about being pregnant - it allowed us to watch the entire Season 2 of Lost in 9 days.

On a related note, if the child is a boy his name will now be Mr. Eko Hurley Medwid. If it is a girl...same thing.

8 DAYS LEFT!

I know what you are thinking. Derek, you can't add. Or in this case subtract. Just yesterday, it was 12 days left.

Today we went for what should prove to be our final ultrasound. We got a few more good close-ups of the spine, heart, feet and head. And we could see the little mouth moving. He/she appeared to be chewing sunflower seeds.

They also estimated the weight. This little bugger is huge. Something like 24 pounds already. When it comes out, it is going right into the 2nd grade. Anyway, the doc has scheduled next Thursday for Trac to be induced. And me to be sedated.

That means one way or another, D'Brickashaw will be here within a week. Good lord.

IT'S A BOY!!!!

My friends just got new puppy and it is a boy. Nice for them. As for us, we are still without our new child. Any day now.

I have started nesting. I sprayed the kitchen with bug spray. Is that considered nesting or just responsible home ownership?

We purchased yet another infant necessity. Actually, we exchange our current baby sleep positioner for the top of the line model. This is the crème de le crème of infant sleep aids. The top of the line. If baby sleep positioners were gay cowboy movies, this one would be the Brokeback Mountain of them all.

It has like 9 different positions so the baby never sleeps on the same side of it’s head. I think you can even leave the baby alone for a weekend on this thing and it will periodically rotate and, I assume, feed the child when needed. It is that good.

Big day tomorrow. Big big day. Our final Ultrasound. I may have important news by tomorrow evening.

13 DAYS LEFT

We’re still here.

Today’s topic – Breastfeeding vs. the bottle

If you tell someone you aren’t sure if you are going to breastfeed, you will undoubtedly get a look of unconditional contempt. They’ll probably shake their head in disapproval and in extreme cases, take a swing at you. As if the alternative to breastfeeding for a child, is Jim Beam and cigarettes. Shortly after you mention the word bottle, they will don their medical caps and explain why you should, nay you must, use the breast.

Now, you can tell me that one should breastfeed for many reasons. The nutrients in the milk; the benefits for the mother; even saving money on formula. All valid points. But don’t tell me you need to do it because that is how you bond with your child. I’m not sure I buy that one.

You just carried this creation around inside you for 40 weeks; you brought it into the world; you hold it, feed it, change it and make googlely-eyes at it all day long. After all of that, if you need to breastfeed in order to bond with your child, I think you may have other issues.

Anyway, I’m not saying we aren’t choosing that option. I just resent being told what to do. But there have been many a healthy children who were bottle-fed. If I recall correctly, I fall into that category. And I haven’t had a cold in 3 years.

Intermediate Update

No baby yet. I apologize for the lack of posts.

Full report tonight. Looks like it is coming soon.

16 DAYS LEFT

In what may have been my last Saturday without the responsibilities of being a parent, I spent my time watching 7 episodes of Lost - Season 2, as well as Scary Movie 4.

Times are tough.

17 DAYS LEFT

POKEY MOM

Trac’s strides are getting shorter and her right leg is looking a little puffy. The doctor said the only way to get rid of the puffiness is to have the baby.

It’s funny. Now when we leave work for the weekend, people are sort of giving that look like they might not see us for a while.

Other women, who have been pregnant along with us, are starting to have their babies. They are dropping like flies.

When someone tells me his or her due date is in October or later, I can only laugh.

18 DAYS LEFT

As a person who will wager on almost anything (baseball, football, hurricanes, Presidential elections), I am surprised I didn’t think to start a baby pool. But it completely slipped my mind. I think I was always assuming the baby would come early (and healthy) and I wouldn’t have time to worry about the actual day.

I had a guess as to when she/he would arrive but tonight I changed my mind. I now know when it will be here. Thinking back to when we got pregnant, we had been trying for a bit of time and finally decided not to stress about it anymore. As a way of not stressing, we book a trip to Dublin (Ireland, for those geographically challenged). Immediately after the trip was booked, D’Brickashaw was conceived (thank you New Year’s Eve).

I don’t ask for much these days but I am not ashamed to admit I am looking forward to opening day for the NFL this Sunday. I plan to watch the 1pm game, 4pm game and then at 8pm flip between Family Guy and the evening football game. Which means Brick will be here this Sunday morning. Probably around 12:50pm or so. I can just see the conversation –

(Opening kickoff moments away)

“Honey! I think my water just broke!”

“Are you sure? Maybe you just spilled some water in your lap.”

“Um, no. It really is time now!”

“Didn’t they say something in class about how it’s best to wait a few hours before actually driving to the hospital after your water breaks?”

After that, I only see me getting hit by a shoe. My guess: Sept 10th, slightly before 1pm.

19 DAYS LEFT

We have 19 days until the due date. Within the next 19 days (hopefully no more!) our child will be here and thus, this blog will go the way of the dodo and cease to exist. While I will be sad to let go of this forum, I will be more excited to move past this pregnancy stage and on to new challenges.

With that in mind, I am resigned to chronicling the final 19 or so days as they occur.

This evening we attended another parenting class. Infant CPR. It’s basically the same as regular CPR except on a smaller scale. I dozed off during some of the lessons. If I recall correctly, when a child starts choking, you just hold it upside down by the feet until the food is dislodged. I may have to confirm this with Tracy.

And today we had yet another doctor appointment. They are weekly now. I am proud to say I continue my streak of perfect attendance at these appointments. I do little more than hold Trac’s purse while she is being weighed but I consider that a very important job. Tracy also has perfect attendance.

Exciting news! The doc informed us that the head has dropped further down and the cervix has thinned out! Brick is on the move. Several years ago, a chiropractor told me my right leg is 4 centimeters shorter than my left leg. A woman needs to be at 10 centimeters before she can give birth. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

How I Spent My Labor Day Vacation

At our last doctor’s visit, the nurse estimated the baby’s current weight at 6.2 pounds. Yesterday, we ate dinner at Sweet Tomatoes and after my salad, two bowls of soup, 3 slices of pizza, 2 dishes of pasta, a brownie sundae and some apple cherry cobbler, I felt like I had a 6 pound child inside of me. I feel I can now, in some small way, empathize with the likes of a pregnant woman of 37 weeks. I couldn’t move.

I see Tracy and I understand the simplest movements are such a chore. Rolling over in bed is a 5-step process involving several stages of shifting the body and the rearranging of multiple pillows. Trying to get up from the sofa unassisted is an exercise in futility. She looks like little Randy Parker from A Christmas Story; that kid that couldn’t get up because he was layered in excessive snow gear.

So when Tracy asked for help shaving her legs, I thought it best to acquiesce. Apparently she doesn’t trust me with a razor, so she purchased a product called Veet. Just slather it on, wait 5 minutes and wipe the hair away. Sounds simple.

But this was not some 9½ Weeks-like sensual practice in spousal bonding. No sir. I realized that when I read the directions and in large bold letters they make it clear to remove this product from the skin within ten minutes or you’d receive horrible 3rd degree burns worthy of a subsequent visit to Nip/Tuck plastic surgeons. Jeez, no pressure.

They give you a small tool that looks like a miniature windshield ice scraper, which you use to remove the Veet. I was surprised that the hair was actually coming off. I mean, she was no Sasquatch, but the little scraper wiped the leg clean. She seemed happy with the results and I realized two things. First, people weren’t kidding when they said life would never be the same after we became pregnant. And second, yes Veet does work on men too.

Waiting is the hardest part

The last month of gestation sucks. It rivals the first month and dealing with the morning sickness. There is nothing to do. It’s boring. You just wait and wait. It’s like waking up every day and being told you have to stand in line at the DMV all day.

The new frontier of becoming pregnant has been explored. The baby’s room is ready. Our hospital bags are packed. I have assembled the stroller and installed the car seats. And I know everything there is to know about the cervix.

And I don’t want to hear how I should enjoy the peace and quiet now because things are about to get hectic. Hectic is good. I welcome the frantic, confusing and chaotic. Bring it on.

At this point I wouldn’t mind getting hit by a car just to break up the monotony. Not sustaining any crippling injuries. Maybe just the kind of accident where I see the car at the last second so I have enough time to jump up on the hood and my back cracks the windshield but I am still coherent enough to turn to the driver and shout “Stop this damn car!” through the glass. Then he jams on the brakes and I roll off the hood and tumble forcefully to the ground.

Yes, I am that bored.