WEEK 14
We have arrived at the beginning of week 14. Only 26 more weeks to go. Ouch. I’m no math major but I don’t think we are even half way there yet. As for information on the baby, I read that our uterus is now the size of a melon! (Why is it when I read these books I always end up hungry?!) The baby is about 4-5 inches long and has begun to urinate (gross). The mother’s appetite should be increasing along with her sex drive. (Um, yeah, that hasn’t happened yet) And the belly’s growth persists, inspiring one jokester to remark about the possibility of twins. Prompting me to forthwith kick him in the shin.
But Tracy continues to feel better which has lead to this week’s planning of a pregnant vacation. No, that isn’t the latest installment in the Chevy Chase Vacation series (thank god). We are actually going to take a road trip to North Carolina and St. Augustine, FL. It is about a 10-hour drive, 11 when you factor in the pee breaks, to Asheville from here. The plan is to just take a ride, relax and get away from the house.
I could use a break from the house. Sunday, while Tracy combed the mall desperately trying to find some pants that would fit, I became the Tasmanian Devil going from the kitchen to the bedrooms to the bathroom on a mad cleaning frenzy. I started easy with some vacuuming and unloading of the dishwasher. Simple stuff. Then graduated to 200 level tasks such as cleaning the layers of dust behind the toilet and along the crevice between the wall and refrigerator.
The coup de grâce came in the master shower. In this shower, we have a plastic foot suction-cupped to the shower floor. You sprinkle some soapy substance onto this foot, which is equipped with hundreds of little bristles, and when rubbing your own foot over this device, it is supposed to create a soothing pedicure-like feeling. Of course, fixed to the shower floor, it is prone to all of the normal shower unpleasantries, like mildew and soap scum. So there I was, cleaning in between the toes of this foot massager shower accessory. Mind you, I rarely clean between my own toes.
When it was finally over, the house sparkled like Emerald City and I was exhausted. Of course, it wasn’t a totally testosterone-free day. The college basketball game was on every television in the house, I was drinking beer, and I made sure to spend ample time burping and scratching myself like a man. And I did come up with a great use for the untouched portion of our vacation fund for this year. Next time, I’m calling a cleaning service.
But Tracy continues to feel better which has lead to this week’s planning of a pregnant vacation. No, that isn’t the latest installment in the Chevy Chase Vacation series (thank god). We are actually going to take a road trip to North Carolina and St. Augustine, FL. It is about a 10-hour drive, 11 when you factor in the pee breaks, to Asheville from here. The plan is to just take a ride, relax and get away from the house.
I could use a break from the house. Sunday, while Tracy combed the mall desperately trying to find some pants that would fit, I became the Tasmanian Devil going from the kitchen to the bedrooms to the bathroom on a mad cleaning frenzy. I started easy with some vacuuming and unloading of the dishwasher. Simple stuff. Then graduated to 200 level tasks such as cleaning the layers of dust behind the toilet and along the crevice between the wall and refrigerator.
The coup de grâce came in the master shower. In this shower, we have a plastic foot suction-cupped to the shower floor. You sprinkle some soapy substance onto this foot, which is equipped with hundreds of little bristles, and when rubbing your own foot over this device, it is supposed to create a soothing pedicure-like feeling. Of course, fixed to the shower floor, it is prone to all of the normal shower unpleasantries, like mildew and soap scum. So there I was, cleaning in between the toes of this foot massager shower accessory. Mind you, I rarely clean between my own toes.
When it was finally over, the house sparkled like Emerald City and I was exhausted. Of course, it wasn’t a totally testosterone-free day. The college basketball game was on every television in the house, I was drinking beer, and I made sure to spend ample time burping and scratching myself like a man. And I did come up with a great use for the untouched portion of our vacation fund for this year. Next time, I’m calling a cleaning service.
posted by Derek, Tracy & Calvin | 10:53 PM
2 Comments:
Derek - sounds like the "nesting instinct" has hit you -- way early ! .... a sympathy pregnancy symptom ??? :-) great job though -- I am impressed.
Did you know that two studies found that approximately 90 percent of men experience at least one pregnancy-related symptom, sometimes severe enough to prompt an expectant father to seek medical help ???
For more info on this and male hormones and how they are affected by fatherhood (including a plunge in your testosterone levels after the birth) see:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20020301-000025.html
As long as I don't get varicose veins!
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