Go ahead...Make my day
The time had arrived for a trip to Babies R Us so we could amass items for our baby registry. I am not big on receiving gifts but I do enjoy running around a department store with scanning gun. I am Jack Bauer and the President is being held hostage somewhere in bedding. I have only 24 minutes to find him. Truth be told, this was one of the pregnancy activities I was actually looking for to. It may even be one of the top 3 reasons I agreed to have a child in the first place.
After an hour in the store, this adventure proved to be not nearly as fun as I had initially hoped. Sure, there were some enjoyable moments. Like when we would walk by a fellow shopper and I’d point the gun at his or her ass, zap it and say, “Hey Honey, I just put that lady’s ass on our registry.” This may have been funny the first 3 or 4 times (probably less for Tracy) but the novelty soon wore off.
Then it was time to get down to business. And when faced with a row of strollers to choose from, spanning a distance equal to a football field, we did what any sane person would do. Walked back up to the front counter, tossed the clerk our registry gun and went to get ice cream. We needed a game plan.
Flash forward one week and we are back in the store, this time armed with sufficiently more knowledge. Well, Tracy had more knowledge. I was still as clueless as a Lost viewer. We had productive conversations like;
“Sweetie, do you think we should put a boppy on our registry?”
“What’s a boppy? Is that like a binky?”
“No. It’s a pillow.”
“We have pillows at home.”
“Nevermind. What about the diapers? Do you think Pampers or Huggies?”
“Are you serious?”
I am still not exactly sure what a boppy is, but gosh darn it, it is on my registry. After roughly 3 hours, a few realities started to sink in. Readily used words in my vocabulary like cocktails and party, would soon be replaced by such words like swaddle, binky and boppy. (A friend, who shall remain nameless, also suggested I remove “fun” from any part of my vocabulary. His words. Not mine.)
But seriously, it wasn’t all that bad. With only 89 days left until the due date, we are definitely almost, somewhat, sort-of ready…
After an hour in the store, this adventure proved to be not nearly as fun as I had initially hoped. Sure, there were some enjoyable moments. Like when we would walk by a fellow shopper and I’d point the gun at his or her ass, zap it and say, “Hey Honey, I just put that lady’s ass on our registry.” This may have been funny the first 3 or 4 times (probably less for Tracy) but the novelty soon wore off.
Then it was time to get down to business. And when faced with a row of strollers to choose from, spanning a distance equal to a football field, we did what any sane person would do. Walked back up to the front counter, tossed the clerk our registry gun and went to get ice cream. We needed a game plan.
Flash forward one week and we are back in the store, this time armed with sufficiently more knowledge. Well, Tracy had more knowledge. I was still as clueless as a Lost viewer. We had productive conversations like;
“Sweetie, do you think we should put a boppy on our registry?”
“What’s a boppy? Is that like a binky?”
“No. It’s a pillow.”
“We have pillows at home.”
“Nevermind. What about the diapers? Do you think Pampers or Huggies?”
“Are you serious?”
I am still not exactly sure what a boppy is, but gosh darn it, it is on my registry. After roughly 3 hours, a few realities started to sink in. Readily used words in my vocabulary like cocktails and party, would soon be replaced by such words like swaddle, binky and boppy. (A friend, who shall remain nameless, also suggested I remove “fun” from any part of my vocabulary. His words. Not mine.)
But seriously, it wasn’t all that bad. With only 89 days left until the due date, we are definitely almost, somewhat, sort-of ready…
posted by Derek, Tracy & Calvin | 8:00 AM
4 Comments:
Dude,
The easy part is picking out all those cool items and then trying to put them to use, how they work and what they will do!! The fun part will be the daipers, pampers/huggies who cares, you still have to wipe the poor lads bottom, all smelling and squishy, if a boy, then peeing all over you, boy that sounds so yummy, a golden shower by your lil one. Ok, sorry a sick plug!! Enjoy them while they are lil and the only issues at that age, will be how long will they sleep, and will I get any myself. We all are looking forward to the Medwid's being proud parents and enjoying life as a famliy.
Signed a true Red Sox hater
I used Huggies for our daughter up until she grew out of the newborn ones. (They are so so so absorbent - scarily so, really) I liked them alot, except that if the diaper is too wet (and not always from too long waits between changes) sometimes there are little crystals that form on babies skin. (Harmless, by the way) These come from the diaper itself so this is a heads up IF you guys ever even see them. (Freaked me out at first and spent ages with google figuring it out)
Love your blog, by the way!
Thanks for the tip on the crystals. I sure it would have freaked me out too. It still might.
I just can not stop giggling after reading about your trip to Babies R Us. Kudos to you for braving the vast underworld of boppy's, diapers, etc... I too had a blast with the scanning gun!
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