The Invisible Man
Ok. It has happened. I have officially ceased to exist in the eyes of others (except for my wife). If people do engage me in conversation, it is merely a way to get to the only true question on their mind… “How is Tracy?”
At this point, I bet I could walk down the hallway at work with an 8 inch shard of glass protruding from my forehead, as blood squirts from the wound like water through an open fire hydrant, and as I pass people in the hall, I would probably get –
“Hey, Derek. Um, how’s it going? So….How’s Tracy?”
“Tracy? Oh, she’s fine. She is feeling much these days. Only 98 days left. Yep. The doctor says everything is moving along swimmingly. Don’t mind this huge piece of glass jutting out of my head. Really. It doesn’t hurt as much as it may appear. I don’t think it has hit any major arteries or anything. I am sure I can drive myself to the hospital. Hopefully I won’t pass out. I should be ok. My eyes sting a little from the blood, but if I keep my left eye shut, I might be able to see clearly enough to get me there. I should probably get going now because things are starting to get a little blurry. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Ok, tell Tracy I said hello.”
At this point, I bet I could walk down the hallway at work with an 8 inch shard of glass protruding from my forehead, as blood squirts from the wound like water through an open fire hydrant, and as I pass people in the hall, I would probably get –
“Hey, Derek. Um, how’s it going? So….How’s Tracy?”
“Tracy? Oh, she’s fine. She is feeling much these days. Only 98 days left. Yep. The doctor says everything is moving along swimmingly. Don’t mind this huge piece of glass jutting out of my head. Really. It doesn’t hurt as much as it may appear. I don’t think it has hit any major arteries or anything. I am sure I can drive myself to the hospital. Hopefully I won’t pass out. I should be ok. My eyes sting a little from the blood, but if I keep my left eye shut, I might be able to see clearly enough to get me there. I should probably get going now because things are starting to get a little blurry. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Ok, tell Tracy I said hello.”
posted by Derek, Tracy & Calvin | 1:10 PM
7 Comments:
You think you don't exist NOW? Wait until the baby comes.. no one will even remember you had part in that little beings existence! Sad, but true!
OH HONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have me (and Dianne) in tears over here, not because of the mere fact that you feel you don't exist but because I have a total visual. You are too funny!!! And not to worry, I will always make you realize you exist :-)
I get the feeling that soon you'll see my picture start to fade from old photographs like Marty McFly.
My friend you will NEVER fade away to your true peeps !! :-)
You will always be #1 in my book. And not just someone's dad or husband. You are your own unique individual and never to be forgotten.
Enjoy the temporary anonymity. In the delivery room there will be an uncomfortable time when you are the main attraction. It usually coincides with the first really bad contraction. The key phrase to alert you will be, “YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!!!!” Anyone within hollering distance will know that you alone were responsible for everything from impregnating Tracy, to killing Jimmy Hoffa, and the current state of the space program. You will be BEGGING to be the invisible man. As for the bleeding all over work thing- never gonna happen. People in your buidling would be complaining about the mess.
Ok, now you are starting to sound like the RED SOX FAN"S when they use to say, always me, about never winning the CHAMPIONSHIP!! They finally win it but still to this day , WHINE, WHINE, WHINE!!! MAN UP MEDWID, grow some @@@@@@, just like my wife, your wife is your WHOLE WORLD, as will be your CHILD!!!! I could of not ask for a better BRO-IN-LAW to look after my lil sis and soon to be(a guess) a strapping young Derek Jeter!! Enjoy your last for months of being someone, cause soon like the dinasour's, you will become extincted!!!
I agree with Mr. Anonymous; I hope the bad Red Sox gene skips this generation. I too, believe a little yankee is cooking.
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