The Sonogram
Have you ever seen the Grand Canyon in person? Once you do, you soon realize that all the movies, TV clips and pictures cannot do it justice. Being there live is a completely new experience. This also applies to pregnancy stuff. Sure, I’ve seen stirrups, surgical gowns and the jelly-belly ultrasounds in countless films and shows, but it still didn’t prepare me for my live audition.
Our doctor told us it is still early so we wouldn’t see much. Our future child currently maintains the dimensions a gummi bear. The nurse doing the sonogram said it would look more like a piece of rice. Not a long grain Basmati but more of the southern medium grain version. Ok, I get it. It will be small.
And it was small. There was a bean shaped blob next to a little line inside another blob. Hello junior. She pointed out a tiny flicker on the screen, which she claims was the heartbeat. If she wasn’t bullshitting us, that was pretty cool.
A few years ago, I nearly had to take a Valium while my wife went in for Lasik surgery (I am currently looking to score a bottle for these upcoming months) so I was a little anxious before this visit. I am the type of person who cringes at the first sight of a televised surgery when channel surfing. I can’t even watch Nip/Tuck without getting a little queasy but the medical aspect of this first appointment really wasn’t that bad.
I know I am going to have trouble with some of the graphic nature of a pregnancy but I am hoping that there is no time when I actually pass out cold. Without getting too detailed, it was a little more invasive than I had prepared for (I can now give a precise description of my wife’s bladder) but all things said, I came out like a champ!
Oh yeah. Tracy did very well too!
Our doctor told us it is still early so we wouldn’t see much. Our future child currently maintains the dimensions a gummi bear. The nurse doing the sonogram said it would look more like a piece of rice. Not a long grain Basmati but more of the southern medium grain version. Ok, I get it. It will be small.
And it was small. There was a bean shaped blob next to a little line inside another blob. Hello junior. She pointed out a tiny flicker on the screen, which she claims was the heartbeat. If she wasn’t bullshitting us, that was pretty cool.
A few years ago, I nearly had to take a Valium while my wife went in for Lasik surgery (I am currently looking to score a bottle for these upcoming months) so I was a little anxious before this visit. I am the type of person who cringes at the first sight of a televised surgery when channel surfing. I can’t even watch Nip/Tuck without getting a little queasy but the medical aspect of this first appointment really wasn’t that bad.
I know I am going to have trouble with some of the graphic nature of a pregnancy but I am hoping that there is no time when I actually pass out cold. Without getting too detailed, it was a little more invasive than I had prepared for (I can now give a precise description of my wife’s bladder) but all things said, I came out like a champ!
Oh yeah. Tracy did very well too!
posted by Derek, Tracy & Calvin | 11:51 PM
6 Comments:
Ah yes, the authentic short grained rice used in sushi preparation...
Hey, if you need about 25 oxycodone's (generic version of percoset), they're yours. I've got them left over from my gut cut, and they're fresh and goooood.
Lemme know.
Yes, you did awesome! I thought "internal anything" was going to run you right out the door.
As the baby gets bigger, I look forward to hearing what type of food it looks like !
I can only imagine you on the day of delivery. They are going to need a separate doctor and room and take care of you.
A friend of mine was forced to help during the delivery. The doc made him hold the head as it was coming out. If they try that with me, we are going to have issues!
"Your life will never be the same from here on out!" because it just took a detour to a place with more adventure.
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